Black Hair: A Deep-Rooted Issue

Actor and comedian Chris Rock made a documentary about it. I wrote my Thesis for graduate school about the topic. But, what recently caught my attention was Allison Samuels and her coverage about it.

Black hair.

I've haven't seen Chris Rock's "Good Hair" , but I plan to see it and am anxious to see what all the critics are talking about. From what I hear from my peers, it's humorous (didn't expect less from this HIGH-larious comedian) and rather informative. My peers (of all ethnicities) said they learned at least a handful of facts from the film.

Today, my sister emailed me a blog post from journalist Allison Samuels, which sparked my attention. In the post, she references an article she wrote about Angelina Jolie and her daughter, Zahara. Specifically, she wrote about Angelina's neglect for the care of Zahara's hair.

As a toddler, young Zahara asked her mother why her hair didn't resemble the hair of her mother's or her other siblings. Whoever said children aren't smart was lying. As young as she is, Zahara knows the difference, and like most children she doesn't have a filter and speaks the truth.

Would little Zahara have asked this question if her hair was combed and maintained properly? Maybe. Clearly, hair textures vary (even among African-Americans). But, the bottom line is how could a woman as rich as she is who has access to various resources have her child's head looking like that?

My sister often jokes you can tell something's wrong in a household when a black child's hair isn't combed. I won't speculate anything is going on in the Jolie-Pitt household. I'm not even trying to judge. I'm merely stating what's real. And what's real is often people of different cultures don't understand how deep-rooted hair is in the African-American community (especially among Black women).

I feel India.Arie in her song, but whether we care to admit it, we are in some way tied to our roots, our hair roots that is. I agree with Allison - we bond with our moms as they take care of our manes and teach us how to do so. We even spend millions of dollars collectively as a country in maintaining it (another story, one of which I wrote my Thesis on - did I mention that earlier?).

I don't think Allison wrote her article to be mean-spirited, but only to educate and inform people about an issue in our community. It's bigger than Zahara's hair. It's about how she views herself now, which will shape her self-esteem and self-image as a teenager and as an adult.

Taking Myself Out of the Freezer

A few weeks ago, I went on vacation with my sister and cousin for our First Annual Girls' Weekend. We decided to retreat in Atlanta aka ''Hotlanta" and "ATL". We haven't spent any length of time in the city prior to the trip, so we were all curious to see what all the hype was about and were to eager to spend some well-deserved time away from work and responsibilities. It was time to relax, relate and release (and had great times doing it!). Little did I know, it was also time to reflect.

While I was there, I met with a colleague (who's turned into a friend along the way) who is both a psychologist and relationship expert in Atlanta. I consulted with him on yet another article I'm writing about intimate relationships between my brothas and sistas in our community (which still intrigues me, but I digress). *I can't divulge the deets of this article yet because it's a current project I'm writing, but deets to follow soon - my apologies for the tease.*

It turns out in the course of retrieving information for my article over the two-hour lunch meeting, I was subconsciously forced to look at my own situation in the romance department, or shall I say a lack thereof.

I can honestly say at 27 years old, I've yet to fall in love. It's interesting because most would describe me as a hopeless romantic and would be correct. I'm one who loves love. I want to fall in love. I'm a sap, an idealist. Yet, I overanalyze EVERYTHING, and my brain gets in the way of what my heart feels. Some say it's smart to play it safe. But my friend told me, "When it comes to love, you can't get what you want based on fear."

I subconsciously (and consciously) wait for that "one". The man who's going to be everything to me. Best friend. Lover. Partner. Confidante. Is that too unrealistic? Perhaps. But, as I mentioned in previous blogs, I refuse to settle. But, I don't think it's about settling. My sister says I need to make myself more available and put myself out there on the scene. So, the question is: How do I do that?

My friend mentioned how I may be "in the freezer"...and it made sense! I'm at a place where I can be preserved, but I have to admit, it's a bit cold in there. And we all know what happens to things that stay in the freezer too long - they get freezer-burned (which is an oxymoron - but it does happen, especially to meat!)!

I'll be a year older in my late 20s in July, and I'm forced to think about my future. As I progress in my career, who I want to spend my future with is in the back of my mind. Yet, I must focus on my present and how the experiences today will shape my future. Perhaps, I should listen more to my heart. Whatever the case, it's summertime and it's the season in my life to thaw out.