BLACK GIRLS ROCK! DUH!

I know I'm a little late talking about this, so please forgive me. As a journalist, it's important to be timely, but to no fault of my own (my other job) I missed the first airing of BET's "BLACK GIRLS ROCK". The last two days, I've heard nothing but rave reviews of the show. From comments on Facebook to commentary from my mother, "BLACK GIRLS ROCK!" sent a message loud and clear for the world to hear. And the world was listening.

The other day, my mom was discussing the deets from the show with me and said, "YOU ROCK!" (I think my mom rocks too and I told her so.) I thought that was one of the most precious things I could hear from my 66-year-old mommy. One of my favorite sayings is I could put her in a display cube and put her on my dresser. :) But I digress...

In this day and age with an African-American First Lady in the White House, we look at how far we've come. (I wish my grandmother was here to see it.) Unfortunately, in other aspects, we're reminded of how much work we need to do. But, shows such as these FINALLY reflect the positivity in our community. As a journalist, I take responsibility in saying the media (of which I am a member) MUST take that responsibility in portraying the positive lights in our community, rather putting the spotlight on the negative parts of it. Every opp I have, I choose to write about a black girl who rocks. And there are A LOT of us out there!

Young girls and ladies need more shows like these and programs to reflect why we rock and how hard we rock! From the various ways we rep our beautiful manes and our stylish flair to our intelligence, strength, wisdom and creativity, WE ROCK HARD!

One of my favorite black girls who rocks (literally) is Chicago hip-hop alternative artist Nikki Lynette. I'll leave you with a quote from her, which is one of my all-time favorite quotes I captured as a journalist.

"My life kind of rocks right now, and I want it to rock harder."

MY Beauty Equation

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure to meet America's Next Top Model judge and photographer Nigel Barker. I have to admit I was star-struck! His stunning beauty (absolutely handsome!), his accent, his demeanor and the way he spoke to me with his eyes left me speechless for seconds, or more like minutes, as my editor interviewed him and I took notes. As I listened to the captivating words from his mouth (which included his beauty equation), it all made sense why I think he is beautiful. He was more than a gorgeous face with a sexy accent. He was a man who truly gets it.

We all have our own definition of beauty and Nigel said "it's our imperfections that make us perfect". That's when it clicked. That's when I thought about the way my right eye closes a little when I pose for a picture. Think about that scar on that person's face that gives him character and tells a story. Reflect on how it blends in with his skin to cause a dimple to match the ones when he smiles at you.

I see beauty in love. I see beauty in nature. I see beauty in people. Whether it's a father tossing his daughter in the air, or you're walking outside on a brisk autumn day as you listen to the multi-colored leaves crunch underneath your feet, or you witness someone tasting a dish for the first time, beauty is everywhere.

Beauty is a culmination of love for your fellow man and experiencing the blessings of life to the fullest.

Friends...How Many of Us Have Them?

I was inspired by 80s hip hop group Whodini for the title of my post. Moreover, I was inspired by the recent move of two people who've grown to become more than my friends. They've become by big brother and big sister (how I fondly refer to them).

The other day, I had an epiphany. It's amazing how we as humans wait until important people in our lives leave (through death, relocation, etc.) to let them know how we truly feel about them.

For me, my friends are an extension of my family. It's not often you find people who you can relate to, know what you're thinking or can finish your sentences. How about the ones who challenge you, inspire you and motivate you? Let's not forget to mention the ones who share your taste in music, cuisine and fashion (or introduce to new experiences).

You know what they say - "There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship." I love all of my ships and look forward to many more adventures to come! :)

Dust Your Shoulders Off Michelle & Sasha

Recent articles (this is just one example of many) reported First Lady Michelle Obama and her daughter Sasha are the subjects of negative discussion among Conservatives and other skeptics for vacationing in Spain.

I have to admit, I'm scratching my head on this one. I have to ask...is it just me or is this is not an issue? What's the problem?

A few weeks ago, I saw MY President (yes, I said MY and I didn't stutter, but I should say OUR) on "The View" where he mentioned Michelle and Sasha were on vacation, while Malia is away at camp. So, again I ask...what's the problem?

I'm really trying to understand the argument presented here. Was the trip too lavish? Do people think the Obamas' are snobby? From what I've read, some would say yes to both statements. But, as my dear friend from childhood Steven Q. Urkel would eloquently say, "Allow me to quote the 25th letter of the alphabet...Y?"

Since when is it a crime to take your child and company on a vacation outside of the country? Some argue it's not the most frugal choice, especially in lieu of the state of the economy. Whatevs...

The First Lady's been clocked for vacationing eight times this summer.

Here's what I have to say...are you ready?

MIND YOUR BUSINESS!

Don't you think there are other and more important matters that need more attention than where the Obamas' choose to vacation? I can't speak for Michelle, but I don't think she thinks she or her family are better than anyone else. What's wrong with a vacay outside of the country? I plan to travel to Nigeria in 2011, does that mean I'm stuck-up?

I've really tried to read several articles on this topic to read ALL points of view, but the more I read, I become more and more irritated.

I must be missing something...

Black Hair: A Deep-Rooted Issue

Actor and comedian Chris Rock made a documentary about it. I wrote my Thesis for graduate school about the topic. But, what recently caught my attention was Allison Samuels and her coverage about it.

Black hair.

I've haven't seen Chris Rock's "Good Hair" , but I plan to see it and am anxious to see what all the critics are talking about. From what I hear from my peers, it's humorous (didn't expect less from this HIGH-larious comedian) and rather informative. My peers (of all ethnicities) said they learned at least a handful of facts from the film.

Today, my sister emailed me a blog post from journalist Allison Samuels, which sparked my attention. In the post, she references an article she wrote about Angelina Jolie and her daughter, Zahara. Specifically, she wrote about Angelina's neglect for the care of Zahara's hair.

As a toddler, young Zahara asked her mother why her hair didn't resemble the hair of her mother's or her other siblings. Whoever said children aren't smart was lying. As young as she is, Zahara knows the difference, and like most children she doesn't have a filter and speaks the truth.

Would little Zahara have asked this question if her hair was combed and maintained properly? Maybe. Clearly, hair textures vary (even among African-Americans). But, the bottom line is how could a woman as rich as she is who has access to various resources have her child's head looking like that?

My sister often jokes you can tell something's wrong in a household when a black child's hair isn't combed. I won't speculate anything is going on in the Jolie-Pitt household. I'm not even trying to judge. I'm merely stating what's real. And what's real is often people of different cultures don't understand how deep-rooted hair is in the African-American community (especially among Black women).

I feel India.Arie in her song, but whether we care to admit it, we are in some way tied to our roots, our hair roots that is. I agree with Allison - we bond with our moms as they take care of our manes and teach us how to do so. We even spend millions of dollars collectively as a country in maintaining it (another story, one of which I wrote my Thesis on - did I mention that earlier?).

I don't think Allison wrote her article to be mean-spirited, but only to educate and inform people about an issue in our community. It's bigger than Zahara's hair. It's about how she views herself now, which will shape her self-esteem and self-image as a teenager and as an adult.

Taking Myself Out of the Freezer

A few weeks ago, I went on vacation with my sister and cousin for our First Annual Girls' Weekend. We decided to retreat in Atlanta aka ''Hotlanta" and "ATL". We haven't spent any length of time in the city prior to the trip, so we were all curious to see what all the hype was about and were to eager to spend some well-deserved time away from work and responsibilities. It was time to relax, relate and release (and had great times doing it!). Little did I know, it was also time to reflect.

While I was there, I met with a colleague (who's turned into a friend along the way) who is both a psychologist and relationship expert in Atlanta. I consulted with him on yet another article I'm writing about intimate relationships between my brothas and sistas in our community (which still intrigues me, but I digress). *I can't divulge the deets of this article yet because it's a current project I'm writing, but deets to follow soon - my apologies for the tease.*

It turns out in the course of retrieving information for my article over the two-hour lunch meeting, I was subconsciously forced to look at my own situation in the romance department, or shall I say a lack thereof.

I can honestly say at 27 years old, I've yet to fall in love. It's interesting because most would describe me as a hopeless romantic and would be correct. I'm one who loves love. I want to fall in love. I'm a sap, an idealist. Yet, I overanalyze EVERYTHING, and my brain gets in the way of what my heart feels. Some say it's smart to play it safe. But my friend told me, "When it comes to love, you can't get what you want based on fear."

I subconsciously (and consciously) wait for that "one". The man who's going to be everything to me. Best friend. Lover. Partner. Confidante. Is that too unrealistic? Perhaps. But, as I mentioned in previous blogs, I refuse to settle. But, I don't think it's about settling. My sister says I need to make myself more available and put myself out there on the scene. So, the question is: How do I do that?

My friend mentioned how I may be "in the freezer"...and it made sense! I'm at a place where I can be preserved, but I have to admit, it's a bit cold in there. And we all know what happens to things that stay in the freezer too long - they get freezer-burned (which is an oxymoron - but it does happen, especially to meat!)!

I'll be a year older in my late 20s in July, and I'm forced to think about my future. As I progress in my career, who I want to spend my future with is in the back of my mind. Yet, I must focus on my present and how the experiences today will shape my future. Perhaps, I should listen more to my heart. Whatever the case, it's summertime and it's the season in my life to thaw out.

Potential vs. Position

To date, one of my most memorable interviews was with scholar, actor and author Hill Harper. In his most recent work, The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships, Hill discussed how black women should date looking to pursue the "potential" in a mate, as opposed to his "status" or "position".

Hill and comedian Steve Harvey reiterated this point recently on the Nightline special, "Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?" Steve argued some women focus so intently on the position that we tend to oversee the potential in a man.

As much as I hate to say it, I tend to agree. And I speak from experience. Sort of.

But, who am I to judge? Yes, I'm educated with a Master's degree in Journalism. Yes, I have high morals and standards. It's fair to say I have a "list" of what I look for in a potential mate, and being educated and possessing morals are two of them.

However, I'm in my late 20s and because I've spent most of my adulthood in school, I've just started my career in my field. Unlike some, I don't measure success by dollar signs, but by one's pursuit to work honestly and diligently for what brings joy to him and those around him. I want someone who loves life and desires to share that love with others. A man who works hard and cares about people. He could be a laborer, a member of the law enforcement, an actor or the President of the United States (which brings me to my next point).

Hill pointed out First Lady Michelle Obama saw the potential in our President Barack Obama...

The examples can go on forever and I feel him on his point. Yet, it's one thing to feel him, and it's another to put it to practice.

After a phone conversation with my sister a few minutes ago, we discussed how difficult it can be to focus on that "potential" when you know what you want. But, perhaps that's the problem. We're thinking about ourselves and not putting our future mate in the equation. I mean, he does count and he is who we want to share our future (and our present).

I suppose my long-winded point is I don't think I'm picky. I have my standards and I refuse to settle. Yet, sometimes I tend to wonder what opportunities I passed up that were "potentially" good ones...

Everything happens for a reason, and I strive to learn from everything. I just don't want to learn the lessons too late. But, I'm not too worried. I'd like to think I have some time. In the meantime, I'll work on what I bring to the table to position myself for my potential mate.