BLACK GIRLS ROCK! DUH!

I know I'm a little late talking about this, so please forgive me. As a journalist, it's important to be timely, but to no fault of my own (my other job) I missed the first airing of BET's "BLACK GIRLS ROCK". The last two days, I've heard nothing but rave reviews of the show. From comments on Facebook to commentary from my mother, "BLACK GIRLS ROCK!" sent a message loud and clear for the world to hear. And the world was listening.

The other day, my mom was discussing the deets from the show with me and said, "YOU ROCK!" (I think my mom rocks too and I told her so.) I thought that was one of the most precious things I could hear from my 66-year-old mommy. One of my favorite sayings is I could put her in a display cube and put her on my dresser. :) But I digress...

In this day and age with an African-American First Lady in the White House, we look at how far we've come. (I wish my grandmother was here to see it.) Unfortunately, in other aspects, we're reminded of how much work we need to do. But, shows such as these FINALLY reflect the positivity in our community. As a journalist, I take responsibility in saying the media (of which I am a member) MUST take that responsibility in portraying the positive lights in our community, rather putting the spotlight on the negative parts of it. Every opp I have, I choose to write about a black girl who rocks. And there are A LOT of us out there!

Young girls and ladies need more shows like these and programs to reflect why we rock and how hard we rock! From the various ways we rep our beautiful manes and our stylish flair to our intelligence, strength, wisdom and creativity, WE ROCK HARD!

One of my favorite black girls who rocks (literally) is Chicago hip-hop alternative artist Nikki Lynette. I'll leave you with a quote from her, which is one of my all-time favorite quotes I captured as a journalist.

"My life kind of rocks right now, and I want it to rock harder."

Black Hair: A Deep-Rooted Issue

Actor and comedian Chris Rock made a documentary about it. I wrote my Thesis for graduate school about the topic. But, what recently caught my attention was Allison Samuels and her coverage about it.

Black hair.

I've haven't seen Chris Rock's "Good Hair" , but I plan to see it and am anxious to see what all the critics are talking about. From what I hear from my peers, it's humorous (didn't expect less from this HIGH-larious comedian) and rather informative. My peers (of all ethnicities) said they learned at least a handful of facts from the film.

Today, my sister emailed me a blog post from journalist Allison Samuels, which sparked my attention. In the post, she references an article she wrote about Angelina Jolie and her daughter, Zahara. Specifically, she wrote about Angelina's neglect for the care of Zahara's hair.

As a toddler, young Zahara asked her mother why her hair didn't resemble the hair of her mother's or her other siblings. Whoever said children aren't smart was lying. As young as she is, Zahara knows the difference, and like most children she doesn't have a filter and speaks the truth.

Would little Zahara have asked this question if her hair was combed and maintained properly? Maybe. Clearly, hair textures vary (even among African-Americans). But, the bottom line is how could a woman as rich as she is who has access to various resources have her child's head looking like that?

My sister often jokes you can tell something's wrong in a household when a black child's hair isn't combed. I won't speculate anything is going on in the Jolie-Pitt household. I'm not even trying to judge. I'm merely stating what's real. And what's real is often people of different cultures don't understand how deep-rooted hair is in the African-American community (especially among Black women).

I feel India.Arie in her song, but whether we care to admit it, we are in some way tied to our roots, our hair roots that is. I agree with Allison - we bond with our moms as they take care of our manes and teach us how to do so. We even spend millions of dollars collectively as a country in maintaining it (another story, one of which I wrote my Thesis on - did I mention that earlier?).

I don't think Allison wrote her article to be mean-spirited, but only to educate and inform people about an issue in our community. It's bigger than Zahara's hair. It's about how she views herself now, which will shape her self-esteem and self-image as a teenager and as an adult.

Potential vs. Position

To date, one of my most memorable interviews was with scholar, actor and author Hill Harper. In his most recent work, The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships, Hill discussed how black women should date looking to pursue the "potential" in a mate, as opposed to his "status" or "position".

Hill and comedian Steve Harvey reiterated this point recently on the Nightline special, "Why Can't a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?" Steve argued some women focus so intently on the position that we tend to oversee the potential in a man.

As much as I hate to say it, I tend to agree. And I speak from experience. Sort of.

But, who am I to judge? Yes, I'm educated with a Master's degree in Journalism. Yes, I have high morals and standards. It's fair to say I have a "list" of what I look for in a potential mate, and being educated and possessing morals are two of them.

However, I'm in my late 20s and because I've spent most of my adulthood in school, I've just started my career in my field. Unlike some, I don't measure success by dollar signs, but by one's pursuit to work honestly and diligently for what brings joy to him and those around him. I want someone who loves life and desires to share that love with others. A man who works hard and cares about people. He could be a laborer, a member of the law enforcement, an actor or the President of the United States (which brings me to my next point).

Hill pointed out First Lady Michelle Obama saw the potential in our President Barack Obama...

The examples can go on forever and I feel him on his point. Yet, it's one thing to feel him, and it's another to put it to practice.

After a phone conversation with my sister a few minutes ago, we discussed how difficult it can be to focus on that "potential" when you know what you want. But, perhaps that's the problem. We're thinking about ourselves and not putting our future mate in the equation. I mean, he does count and he is who we want to share our future (and our present).

I suppose my long-winded point is I don't think I'm picky. I have my standards and I refuse to settle. Yet, sometimes I tend to wonder what opportunities I passed up that were "potentially" good ones...

Everything happens for a reason, and I strive to learn from everything. I just don't want to learn the lessons too late. But, I'm not too worried. I'd like to think I have some time. In the meantime, I'll work on what I bring to the table to position myself for my potential mate.

Looking Like a Fool With Your Pants on the Ground!

Throughout this month, I've watched several "old-school" movies (e.g. Cooley High, The Mack, etc.) that reflected life for African-Americans back in the day. In the midst of the Civil Rights Movement and other moments in history, one thing stood out to me: how we as a people dressed.

I looked at old pictures of my mother and some of our other family members from the 1950s and 1960s. It amazed me how teenagers AND adults took such pride in their appearance. From the hairstyles to the color-coordinated and tailored clothing to the shoes, we were stunning! At a time when we couldn't vote and our predecessors marched for miles to demonstrate for equality, they walked for miles in style because they possessed an inner pride within themselves. Even though they knew what faced them (the threat of being beaten, attacked by dogs, sprayed by water hoses, thrown in jail or even killed), they were dressed for success and nothing less. They wanted to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for many of the people in our community today (especially the youngsters)...

I think American Idol Larry Platt said it best in his song "Pants on the Ground". Words can't describe how much I much detest seeing young (and older) men with their pants hanging off their behinds and revealing their underwear with the blinding glare of gold from their "grills". But, it's not just the fellas! Who told these young women wearing these tight jeans (that reveal their behinds), tops that show their goodies and multi-colored weave is cute?

Call me bougie (derived from bourgeois) if you must, but I feel we need to take back our pride in ourselves, which equals pride in our community. What has happened in the last few decades (a generation basically) where people don't care how they look? The younger generations don't necessarily have many role models to look up to, especially those who grow up around this lifestyle. Unfortunately, people are judged by their outer appearance. The old saying "your first impression should be your best impression" isn't too far-fetched...

Is Common Courtesy Really That COMMON Anymore?

I fathom over this question every day as I ride the bus and train to and from my daily destinations. I observe the behavior of children (grade school and high school ages) & wonder (to be frank)...WTF? To be honest, some of these children act like animals!

I listen to the foul language coming out of their mouths (which we cursed when I was younger, but most of us didn't dare let an adult hear us) and there's just no respect, for those around them or themselves for that matter. Buses are crowded and they are pushing through passengers without an "excuse me", "sorry" or "pardon me". Really? Seriously?

My question is, what has happened within the last decade that people just don't care anymore? Why are parents neglecting to teach their children the rules of common courtesy and proper etiquette? Is it just me? Am I old-fashioned? I'm just shy of a generation older than most of these younger people I see...so, what in the heck has happened in such a short amount of time?

Don't get me wrong. I love listening to my iPod and listening to my jams, but I shouldn't be forced to in efforts to drown out the vulgarity I hear from these youngsters' mouths. It's a shame when the volume level from their "conversations" are competing with my electronic device, which I have to hold close to make sure one of them doesn't try to swipe in the first place.

I'm tired of getting shoved in the ovary or knocked in the back of the head with an oversized backpack because some rude child can't say "excuse me". I do love children (even though it may not sound like it), but I'm just sayin'...