A Tribute to a Pioneer

It wasn't until graduate school that I heard of her, my first year of graduate school to be exact. It was the irony of the similarity in her last name of one of my fellow grad friends that jolted my memory of her name when I read about articles about her this past May.


This year, Memorial Day weekend commemorated 25 years of the death of Chicago journalism pioneer Leanita McClain. She was 32 years old when she died from her own hands of an overdose of prescription medication. Unfortunately, she was another person who suffered from depression in the African-American community. Although she was part of the elite (the first African-American and the second woman to sit on the editorial board for the Chicago Tribune), she simply wasn't happy--and that was that. Not all the brownstones in Hyde Park or trips around the world could bring joy to McClain. Whoever money and prestige can't buy you happiness may have been on to something.


Upon my reading of the articles in tribute to her, I spent the next two hours researching every article on the Internet I could find about her. I shushed my sister as she greeted me when she walked through the doors from work. I wanted to read more about her. I had to read more about her. Obsessed is what my sis called me, I prefer to think of it more as intrigued.


It was a chance meeting at my part-time job and the ways God aligned the stars one day that blessed me with the opportunity to meet her best friend and fellow colleague, Mr. Monroe Anderson. We met a week later for coffee and discussed her as a journalist and as a person. I was linked to other contacts who knew her and spoke with them as well. But, after speaking with these individuals, I continue to search for that one infamous question that they nor any news article could tell me--WHY? Why would an intelligent, successful, beautiful (who seemed vibrant), compassionate, YOUNG woman end her own life? It's a question I wondered about as well with the late and great songstress Phyllis Hyman (and still wonder about)...Unfortunately, I think it's a question I'll never get the answer to. It's not as if they can come back and tell me themselves...


If Ms. McClain were here, I would thank her. I would thank her for what she did for journalism. I would pay gratitude to her for being that only black woman in board rooms and in her Northwestern classroom, which paved for the way for people like me. I would thank for being the voice of the common folk in Chicago. I would pick apart her brain as to what she thinks about President Barack Obama and the simiarities and differences in his election to that of the late Mayor Harold Washington. I would ask her about her writing techniques and why shw wrote such a charged and daring piece in her infamous essay, "How Chicago Taught Me To Hate Whites".


So, instead I'll pay it forward and follow my dreams as a writer and continue to be the voice for those who don't have one.

I Just Can't Escape Ignorance, No Matter Where I Go!

As I completed my evening cleaning, I decided to wander on Facebook for a while (surprise, surprise LOL). As I look on one of my friend's wall, what do I happen to see? A profile picture of one of her friends that depicts Hitler with a swastika one on half of the pic and President Barack Obama with an American flag on the other half. But, the kicker is the title underneath. It reads: "Same Shit, Different Asshole". Wow...

So, I'm kind of speechless at the moment. I mean, comparing President Obama to Hitler--really? Seriously? I knew people were ignorant, but geez that's just plain hateful!

I feel sorry for the individual whose profile picture it is, but in a way I feel angry. REALLY ANGRY. I know everyone is entitled to his or her opinion (in regards to politics, religion, etc.), but why continue to pass around the ignorance? It's no secret to anyone who knows me is aware of my admiration and respect for President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. I realize I need to develop tough skin in regards to the strong (and unreasonable) criticism he and his family face what seems like DAILY! Don't get me started on this birth certificate business (I digress). I can respect people who are skeptic, but it's a complete different ball game to be full of spite and venom!

He's been in office for less than a year and Bush was given eight. You do the math...

The point is I know President Obama is not perfect. But, he makes sense! Much more sense than our previous leader. He's real, he's refreshing and he's hopeful. People need that right now!

I need that right now...

Candlelight and Who?

As I listen to a throwback jam (Chante Moore and Keith Washington's 90's hit "Candlelight and You") and watch Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" yet again, I am forced to reflect on the subject of an upcoming column of mine that will be published in a few weeks--relationships and how women (black women, specifically) can find their dream man and ideal relationship with him.

That's the $1 million question, and to quote Steve Harvey from "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", there's always going to be a $10 answer.

When I was much younger, I envisioned myself married by the time I was 24 years old and a mother by 28. I just turned 27 almost three weeks ago and have yet to make a leap in either direction. The plan is to do the first part and then the latter (call me old-fashioned if you will). But as always, life doesn't turn out the way you plan it. And I'm okay with that.

What I'm not okay with are some of the reasons why I'm single. And here's why:

• According to the U.S. Department of Justice's Bureau of Justice Statistics, there were 4,777 black male inmates per 100,000 black males in mid-year 2008, compared with 1,760 Hispanic males per 100,000 Hispanic males and 727 white males per 100, 000 white males.

Is it just me or is something wrong with this picture? The numbers speak for themselves.

• It's no secret that black women have a higher college graduate rate than the brothers. I looked around in my graduate program and didn't see one African-American male colleague other than one of my professors who said this wasn't surprising to him. Perhaps it's because of my major (Journalism). Perhaps not. Where are the Curtis Lawrence's, Don Terry's and Ed Bradley's of my generation?

I refuse to give up, but I also refuse to settle. Hince why I am still single.

In the course of my research for my upcoming column, relationship expert and psychologist Dr. Alduan Tartt revealed to me there's nothing more sad than an old, lonely man. I'm afraid I have to disagree Dr. Tartt.

There's nothing more sad than a young, vibrant, intelligent, strong, sophisticated, spiritual, beautiful young lady OR man who doesn't have that special someone to share it all.

I truly believe God has that special person for everyone. Patience is indeed the key (at least I keep telling myself LOL).

I don't want to turn around one day and ask myself: why did I get married?

In the meantime, I will strive to be the best me I can be for my future prize, but most of all, for myself.

Family Really Does Matter!

Last week, I returned home from a fun-filled family reunion in Mississippi. I visited and met family members from my mother's side of the family who I met for the first time and those who I met over the last decade or so at the funerals of other family members. I figured it was about time to see these folks in a less melancholy atmosphere and connect with family members I've never known.

As my 27th birthday approached and has since passed, family takes a new meaning to me. While I was at the reunion forming new bonds with cousins, I couldn't help but reflect on my relationships with members of my immediate family (especially on my mother's side). My father's family, along with my father, reside in Nigeria. An entire world away. So, I thought about the relationships in my family, especially since my grandmother (Big Mama) passed away in 2005. I saw the love shared between my other family members at this festive event and said to myself: Why don't I see more of this in my immediate family? What's lacking? I thought, "These people are really on to something here!"

I could easily sit here and talk about all the things my immediate family is doing wrong, but I won't. To be honest, it's just too disheartening to do so.

But, I'll tell what you what I will do. I will embrace and nurture the relationship ties I have and just made. I will fight the urge to dwell on what I can't change and focus on what really matters!

Welcome to Through the Eyes of Iya!

Hi there & welcome!

I've been procastinating long enough, and I thought now (today) was an important time to dive in and get this blog started!

Over the past few weeks, I've brainstormed over various topics for my blog "Through the Eyes of Iya". Many of these topics include areas in my life and those close to me. But, all of the topics will have a central idea, or theme, in mind--African-American women. Discussions will cover race, religion, education, health, lifestyle, the business world, etc.

The goal is to write a new post each week with a new topic from week-to-week. But, if I have more to say on one topic that relates to the previous week, I will not apologize for touching on a similar topic with a slightly different spin and additional information.

I hope you enjoy the ride and take something from it because I intend to do both!

Enjoy!