Candlelight and Who?

As I listen to a throwback jam (Chante Moore and Keith Washington's 90's hit "Candlelight and You") and watch Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" yet again, I am forced to reflect on the subject of an upcoming column of mine that will be published in a few weeks--relationships and how women (black women, specifically) can find their dream man and ideal relationship with him.

That's the $1 million question, and to quote Steve Harvey from "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", there's always going to be a $10 answer.

When I was much younger, I envisioned myself married by the time I was 24 years old and a mother by 28. I just turned 27 almost three weeks ago and have yet to make a leap in either direction. The plan is to do the first part and then the latter (call me old-fashioned if you will). But as always, life doesn't turn out the way you plan it. And I'm okay with that.

What I'm not okay with are some of the reasons why I'm single. And here's why:

• According to the U.S. Department of Justice's Bureau of Justice Statistics, there were 4,777 black male inmates per 100,000 black males in mid-year 2008, compared with 1,760 Hispanic males per 100,000 Hispanic males and 727 white males per 100, 000 white males.

Is it just me or is something wrong with this picture? The numbers speak for themselves.

• It's no secret that black women have a higher college graduate rate than the brothers. I looked around in my graduate program and didn't see one African-American male colleague other than one of my professors who said this wasn't surprising to him. Perhaps it's because of my major (Journalism). Perhaps not. Where are the Curtis Lawrence's, Don Terry's and Ed Bradley's of my generation?

I refuse to give up, but I also refuse to settle. Hince why I am still single.

In the course of my research for my upcoming column, relationship expert and psychologist Dr. Alduan Tartt revealed to me there's nothing more sad than an old, lonely man. I'm afraid I have to disagree Dr. Tartt.

There's nothing more sad than a young, vibrant, intelligent, strong, sophisticated, spiritual, beautiful young lady OR man who doesn't have that special someone to share it all.

I truly believe God has that special person for everyone. Patience is indeed the key (at least I keep telling myself LOL).

I don't want to turn around one day and ask myself: why did I get married?

In the meantime, I will strive to be the best me I can be for my future prize, but most of all, for myself.