Scholar, actor and author Hill Harper launched his third book, The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships, last week. The tiltle of the book speaks for itself. But the question is, how can this happen? Is it too far-fetched to believe we can mend the broken dynamic in relationships in our community?
Couples like President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama give people like me hope (no pun intended) that it still exists today: black love. Movies like some of my all-time faves Brown Sugar and Love Jones portray that fantasy that so many of us can't grasp, but desire and yearn for it to be our reality. Why can't we grasp it? Perhaps it's because we've never experienced it, or we've never seen it.
But, the sad truth is our community, our family, is indeed hurting. And that hurt transcends into our relationships with each other: our children, our parents, our friends and this case, our lovers and soulmates. So, how can we imulate something we can't see or touch? I believe some of the greatest teachers in life are examples, and the best ones are through experiences.
I didn't write this blog to provide answers because to be honest, I don't have any. I, like Hill, want to start (or continue if you will) a dialogue about this topic. I speak from the point-of-view as a young, successful, talented, spiritual, sophisticated and beautiful black lady who worries about her brothers and sisters. I speak as someone who wants to know how more action can be implemented into all this "conversation"...
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It's boiling down to value. How much value is placed on a family unit? Or is there any in black communities today? On the surface it would appear not. The conversation has changed with times. It's not necarssy (sp!) to have a man the head of the household. Women have found ways to provide for themselves and their children without two incomes. Also, there is little emphasis or awareness or knowledge about the value of how these unions perserve tradition, race, cultures, and society as a whole.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more! One of my colleagues from grad school said the exact same thing when we had this discussion...the question is, how do we get that value back in our communities and in our families? I think it starts with the value in ourselves...thank you for sharing! Please feel free to share more! :)
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